Clint Jolly's posterous

I’m cursed with never being happy with what I have. I always want more.

It happens with just about every aspect of my life. Personal and business, doesn’t really matter much.

It’s the reason that

·         I have built a money making business- I always work hard to make it better

·         I’m able to live life (mostly) the way I want- I continuously work on saying yes to the things I want and no to the things I don’t

·         I have a lot of material possessions- buy something, replace it with something better, repeat

It’s also the reason that

·         I’m single- I have a hard time settling down with someone, no matter how great they are

·         I have insomnia, sometimes- I can’t stop thinking about how to better myself, my business, etc.

·         I get depressed- reaching a goal makes me feel like I didn’t set the goal high enough, so I still failed

I’m not bitching. Just throwing this out there in the hopes that some sort of clarification finds its way back to me. Somewhere in the not too distant future is the solution to my little problems.

At least I live in a world that allows me the freedom to have these problems. It could be worse right?

A good friend of mine and I talked about living life in the now. Not worrying about what happened, or what will happen. Just enjoying the moment. I've always been a control freak. Always in charge of the goings on around me. Lear ing to let go and enjoy has never really come easy. But, let me tell you that living in the now is the way to go. Had plans for tonight that changed close to last minute. A month ago I would have been pissy about it. Today, I let it go. Went to a concert and got stood up by my "date". Moved on...

Met some new folks and had a blast. Hooked up with friends and they joined in the fun. Enjoyed the night to the point that I forgot about all the things that would have bothered me just a short time ago. It's fun growing up. But, I don't plan on acting like it for a while!

Party on Wayne!

There's a bit of an embargo on info coming out about CommRow. But, I was lucky enough to get a tour today. I can tell you it will be more than you expect. A lot of thought going into the place. And, they're serious about building and being a part of the community. Also, I ran into the new executive chef, which I've known for years. With him in the lead I can assure you that the food and service will also be better than you expect. From talking to people about this project I've heard a lot of doubt. My only hope is that you, your friends and your family will go check this place out. Grab a bite, a drink and jump on the wall (I'm skipping the wall part myself...). That's the only way to get a good opinion. I doubt they will disappoint.

It's a random stream of consciousness kind of night.....

I just ate dinner with 22 folks at 4th St. Bistro in Reno. It was hosted by one of my catering clients. They're the first clients to ever invite me out to these functions. It was amazing, but I'm not sure if I should feel rewarded, smitten, boisterous, proud or arrogant. I can say it's not a bad thing though.

I sat next to a couple that have lived in Algeria, Columbia, England and others. About five years each. They vacation in Italy, brazil for Carnival and more. I'm jealous. I was in a coffee shop today. A "large" (is that politically correct?) man walked in. He was wearing plaid shorts with a striped shirt. The barista, obviously an acquaintance at least, called him out. "Go home and change. That's ugly. Don't you know better?". I pride myself on being a bit stylish. But, as with most things I think I miss the boat. I guess that makes me improve constantly?

Speaking of improving- I have a list I need to start on to improve myself. Health, efficient business, the next step. It's a constant thought that invades every day of my life. Get better. Be stronger. Make more. Give more. A friend told me last night that I need to focus more on what I do best. He's not the first. But, I feel like I've conquered that (cooking) enough to be happy. I feel like it's time to move on. I'm spoiled. I didn't grow up with everything, but there wasn't much more I could have asked for. We always ate well, lived in a nice place and enjoyed life. I walked into the family business and made a career of it. It taught me to work hard for material things, but I never learned to work hard to make myself happy. I'm working on that. Speaking of work- no one really enjoys it. Do they? But seriously, I spend 60-80 hours a week doing something productive. (may not get paid for all of it) That seems like work mostly. But, a lot of it is time spend acting like I'm working so that I don't work too much. The other night at a wine bar, I was asked by a nice looking older lady if I was single. Her companion was my age, she was 50+. I thought it was a bit strange. But, she invited me to a speed dating event later this month. I think it will be fun, but my first reaction was to think of people to invite. That would sort of end up like going out with my friends and only talking to them for a few minutes each. That's not the point is it?

I've worked hard in the last year to meet new people. Mostly business related folks. It's been a real blessing to expand my network on a slow, but directed, pace. The next step is to figure out how to leverage these new connections into a win win relationship. There's a lot there, and I believe in the power of numbers. Synergy. I consciously know that I could conquer my problems if I quit trying so hard to do so. Let the universe guide me and pay attention to signs that lead to the right outcome. The problem is that I'm a control freak. That makes me want to plan, organize and oversee every part if life. It's an internal struggle that I'm not sure I'll ever fully control. (yes, I see the irony there...)

The control issue hinders my success. I'm a great starter. I'm a terrible doer. I need other people for that. If I could learn to let go a bit and let them do that part, success would come easily. As for success- to me it's the freedom to do what I feel like at the moment. That doesn't mean being rich, although money sure does make it easier. It means having the ability to travel when I feel like it. To take a day off when I don't feel like working. To build a new project when my attention is focused. I don't care about a big house, but a few sports cars would be nice. That's really not all, but I have to work tomorrow. It feels good to share random thoughts. You should try it sometime. Let me know if you do.

If you know me, you know I'm a clothes whore. It gets stupid sometimes. But, I really believe that "the clothes make the man". Anyway.....

So, I leave the house about 7:30 this morning to head to the kitchen. Before I go, I put the dog in the outside kennel. Full bowl of water, couple of chew toys, all set....

Fast forward ten hours. I pull in the driveway expecting the dog to be happy to see me. And, he was, but he came running up from the porch....

Not sure how long he was running around the neighborhood. Maybe I need to find some better Mastiff proof fencing..... It's patched for now. Tomorrow should be interesting though. Leave about 7 am for work and get home about 2 am. If you see a 140# bull mastiff running around south Reno- don't fear. He loves people and doesn't eat as much as you would guess. I'll be by to pick him up soon :)

I'm 31 today. And not to be a downer, but, it doesn't excite me all that much. I've had many amazing birthdays, mostly because I shared the date with my grandfather- my dad's dad. My mother's dad was even born the day before on July 14th. That always meant that it was a good celebration with family. Mom's dad died when I was a teenager. Dad's dad just a few years ago. Combine that with a family that has all moved away and stopped talking and it takes away what I loved about sharing my birthday with special people. So, I now dedicate my birthday to the remembrance of grandpas. Grandpa Bill (mom's side) was one of the most intelligent people I've ever known despite dropping out of school in the third grade to hunt raccoons to help support his huge family. If he was here today he would be explaining the inner workings of the radio, or dragging me into the hills to find a plant that only blooms once every 100 years. And, he would know exactly which hill it was on an the best time to be there so the light was just right for a picture. You can be sure he would have his cane handy to get my attention if it waned.... I think his ingenuity and stature (he was 6'7" or so) lives on in me. Grandpa Dick was a man's man when it came to the old west meaning of the phrase. I swear he could catch a fish with rod in one hand and shoot a deer with a rifle in the other. We spent many sunny days fishing the Truckee with "single eggs". I swore for the first few years that he said "seagull eggs" and wondered why they were so small and came in a jar..... In other news, I think he left his penchant for whiskey with me when he left us. I didn't care for it much before that. But really, he taught me a lot about having respect for people and life for which I'm eternally grateful. So, here's to memories of a few great men. I hope I can live to be just a little bit as great as they were. Happy birthday to them!

Little things add up. They point to something bigger. They combine to make bigger things in life.

Again, this is a post without much of a thread of continuity……

So, Osama is dead. I’m indifferent about the whole thing really. Mostly because I find it odd to celebrate the death of a person, regardless of who they were or what they stood for. To me it seems like another cog in the wheel of war/politics/economics/etc. And it should be fun to hear what all the conspiracy theorists say about it. I bet Michael Moore already has a contract……

I snapped this pick from the latest ad sent out by Total Wine. I’m sure you’ve heard of the new liquor juggernaut in town. Some of you may recognize that label if you were a solid Butcher Boy fan. You see, we had the exclusive rights to sell that wine in the area from about 2005-2008 or so. Then, Vintage on Lakeside bought it up for a bit. Now, Total Wine has it. The basic behind the scenes story is that this wine is bottled by Rutherford Ranch and they put a different label on it to sell exclusively to a retailer in a specific market. Funny thing is that I sold it for $10.99 and later, it was $9.99 at Vintage. But today you can SAVE $1 and only pay $15.99 at the place that offers “Nevada’s lowest prices on wine and liquor” (or something to that effect).

Note: It’s been a while since I bought this wholesale, things may have changed in the last couple years. And, if you’re thinking that prices always go up- check out the pricing trends of good wine in the last three years. You’ll be surprised.

This diet I’ve been on for the last week is interesting. A few days I ate like a ravenous pig. Wednesday I ate 5 meals, totaling around 2 pounds of meat and 3 pounds of veggies. I also drank a gallon of iced tea. I still managed to go to bed hungry. The diet prescribes a cheat day once a week. I picked Saturdays figuring it would allow me to go out with friends and such. So Saturday rolls around and I’m excited to eat some things that the diet doesn’t normally allow. Pancakes in the morning, a burger for lunch and a steak with mac n cheese for dinner, and some pizza and chips for a late night snack. The funny thing is I ate way less than any day of the previous week but felt almost sickly full most of the day. It’s weird how our bodies react to certain foods. Still trying to figure this one out.

I realized why I don’t understand hippies while hanging out at Earth Day festivities yesterday. They preach unity, individuality and acceptance, but they all look the same, divide into their own little sects and want to tell me that I’m eating the wrong foods. Alos, they have a much higher tolerance for “weird” than I do. I can’t relate to that.

And yes, I’m pigeonholing a loosely held group of people. But look at the name on this blog, it’s my name!! J

I have a serious desire to get out of the country this year. I’ve never been, I got my passport and I’m not making any plans for July. Now the question is where the hell do I go? I sort of want to make it a minimalist trip since that goes against my normal routine and think it would be good for me to find out on my own that I would rather take 8 pairs of leather boots for a trip to the beach than be caught without an option if I go out to a nightclub. (Second option for that example for my guy friends that don’t understand- I would rather make sure I have two pairs of underwear just in case I get drunk and mess up one pair.)

Also, I think I’m going to make a movie. I want to make a movie, or short film, about a book. But, I want the book to be something a bit weird and different. I need to eat lunch. I’m going international with this!

(Dear reader- I’m not serious, just an inside joke to see who’s really reading this…..)

There's a point somewhere in here, I'm just not sure where it is.....

I've spent a lot of time trying to learn about people. And I think that I've learned a lot. In fact I can tell very quickly, just by looking at someone, if they're asleep or not..... But seriously, i can't figure out how men and women are supposed to get along long enough to procreate. We are just too damned simple minded to figure out what women are thinking. And all they really want is for us to know what they're thinking.

Ear plugs confuse me. At what point did we decide it was okay to stretch out parts of our body that aren't supposed to be. And what the hell will that look like when you're 90?

Life expectancy scares me. I've heard differing opinions but I may be able to live past 100. What am I supposed to do with all of that time? I don't want to stretch out the bad years. More of the good years would be nice though. That's the part that scares me- are we "suffering" longer, living through more mediocre years or adding more years of happiness to our lives? I kind of need to know!

Achievements and goals are scalable. I've seen people so happy over simple things. For me, it takes a lot more. Not trying to be a braggart, but I've done quite a bit in my life. Still, I see others that have done things I want to do and I'm envious. Traveling for example..... I need to make big moves to be satisfied, and then I still need more. But I think that's what makes me reach my own goals and try my best to improve myself.

Speaking of big..... I've been thinking I need to do things a bit bigger. After closing the "big business" I was compelled to keep things small and it's working. Now, I see signs that I should be going bigger. I'm just afraid I will lose the great parts of being small that I love so much- freedom of schedule mostly.

That schedule thing is interesting. For the first time in my adult life I have freedom from a heavy work schedule. I think it's amazing most of the time. It sucks on a Wednesday when I want to go screw off and all of my friends are working. Not to mention finding a woman to spend time with. All I need is someone who makes good money without working too hard for it so we can spend most of our time having fun. She needs to be pretty, intelligent and always smiling. I'm a bit of a controlling bastard as well so she would have to understand that. And not from a wealthy family either, she has to know what hard work is. How else would she know to avoid it?That should be easy to find.....

I spend too much time trying to figure out how to be organized. Instead of getting things done, I spend a lot of time figuring out how to be more efficient at doing it. I guess that means it goes by quicker the next time though. I'm sure there's a way to fix that, but I have spent too much time trying to figure that out already.

Who the hell thought Uggs were a good idea?
And why the hell is the guy in front of me at the coffee shop wearing a skin tight "Body Glove" shirt (he's not in great shape), linen pants and Tevos when it's raining outside? And a ski jacket.....

I don't understand 0 calorie foods. How does anything have taste with nothing in it? Since we're talking about calories..... I'm going to start living by the "slow carb" diet from Tim Ferris' book "The 4 Hour Body" next week and see if I can drop a few pounds. In a nutshell, it's all protein, vegetables and beans. Nothing white, no dairy and no drinking calories. That means no beer, but wine is okay. What about whiskey?

I think people should spend a bit more time trying to understand how other people see them. I'm not talking about being conceited, I'm talking about taking advantage of stereotypes and on the spot judging. Knowing that you look good to the people you want to look good for gives you a sense of power and unlocks a bit of your courage to do great things. And really, I'm not even talking about material items either. A smile goes a long way! Or a frown if you're Emo ;)

There's a lady eating the foam off of her latte with a spoon. I've never seen that before.

What's your opinion on women with short hair or men with long hair? I think it takes a lot more work to pull it off correctly either way. But, when done right it makes an impression.

Alright, I think I'm done for now. Off to do something a bit more serious :)